My not – yet – pregnant – friend beams
At my 36 week old baby bump
And from what she has heard, she says
It’s the most beautiful of all things known.
She mentions the glowing skin,
And the lustrous fuller denser mane,
And of course –
the wonder and magic of life within life.
I asked her what in the world she was talking about
I would’ve glowed if there was time and energy to
If the black patches on my skin would let it through.
My eyes now have permanent dark circles,
My face brings the puffer fish to shame.
Spider veins scurry under my blotchy skin,
Stretch marks, scars and dark lines creep in.
Hormones rage and darned emotions play –
I cry without reason and spend nights in depression.
Darned Fatigue and those blasted Hicks
makes me contemplate on death and beyond.
And the ‘bundle of joy’ –
the bundle of joy pokes and jabs at my ribs.
Makes my bladder his teddy and pillow,
when he is bored, he loves to play –
‘Karate Kicks’ and ‘Poke until it hurts’.
Lounging in his premium sauna and spa
He then cranks up momma’s central heater
And orders a cocktail to sip on and relax.
He sleeps through the morning – silent and calm
stays up through the night and squirms around.
And I lie on my bed, in pitch black darkness
staring at the ceiling that I obviously can’t see.
I tell her that the beauty’s not in the glow or the bump-
but in the pink line that draws itself on the strip,
In the first flutter and the first ultrasound
In those little jabs, pokes, squirms and hiccups,
There’s beauty in anticipation as well –
Anticipation of holding him, feeding him, and seeing him grow
But of all, the true beauty is in that moment
When I see him for the first time – a little creature
that has been born of my flesh and my blood!